Hell in the physical does not weigh on me. I view the Bible through a critical lens. I see the merit in many of the teachings--family values and an appreciation for the wise--but the aspect of fear as a motivation to help others, and the belief that helping others is somehow more virtuous than helping ourselves, these are not teachings I adhere to or respect in the slightest. I'm not one of the atheists who approaches you, telling you you're stupid and misguided for believing in God, but I'm not one to remain silent while others thrust their beliefs in my face. I have a difficult time believing in the afterlife and in an almighty power that controls everything and everyone by a strict moral code. Perfection is abstract, and it seems impossible to me to have a figurative God without flaws. Perfection is a personal standard, because with all of the conflicting beliefs and opinions that people can possibly have, how would God possibly rate one value over another? In any case, it's impossible to deny the merits of religion. My great aunt, at one point in her life, faced drug addiction and troublesome behavior, but turned to God as a vessel of strength, and she found the strength inside of herself to overcome it. We welcomed her back into our lives and she was nothing but the most kind-hearted, altruistic and content woman I had met. Later, she faced a terminal brain cancer--this was a few years ago--and rather than fear death she simply had the most beautiful glimmer in her eyes. She was ready to go, because she had achieved personal satisfaction through religion. Religion may not be for me, but for plenty of individuals, they use it to gain strength and hope in a lost place. That aspect is often overshadowed in my mind by the hate and trivial destruction incurred by religious zealousness or differences. I'm content to allow a mutual respect and indifference--that is, if you want to worship Bielzebub and drink your own blood, that's your M.O. If I don't want to, I shouldn't have to either. The same goes for lifestyle choices in general, and that's where topics such as homosexuality and abortion enter the picture of religion. Churches should not be spreading hate and contempt for people based on choices that don't influence them, coughWESTBOROcough... For those of you who weren't aware of the Westboro Baptist Church's dealings, you are likely shocked and appalled. The hate that they spout has created, truly, a miniature hell on earth for the families and loved ones of many homosexual soldiers, and homosexuals themselves. Hell can be viewed through many different lenses. Whereas one might die of fear should they be slowly submerged into a fish-tank filled with sharks, others simply chuckle--until you mention their deep-seeded abandonment issues. Everyone has different quirks and buttons to be pushed, but it's important to me to remember that no matter what "Hell on Earth" one might concoct mentally, there's always a way to make it worse. A rainy day could quickly turn into a rainy week, and a brutal stabbing could turn into something unmentionable. While we can always, in the dark corners of our conscious, picture a worse scenario, there's simply no purpose. To be asked to describe the worst possible feeling or situation to place myself in is not only impossible, but pointless as well. I choose to not dwell on my insecurities or the ways I could be tortured. I'm not an optimist, but I am a realist, and a realist doesn't waste much time in the hypothetical.
For those of you reading simply to hear about a fear or an insecurity or anything else of that nature--those of you who wish to dig up dirt--I suppose being an only child would be pretty awful. If something were to happen to my brothers, I would be devastated, naturally, but the loneliness resulting from being an only child would be something I couldn't handle. I am mostly introverted, it might surprise most people to read, because I don't display that quality during class at all, but in reality, I'm fairly antisocial.
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